Making The Right Choice

I never claim to be the perfect parent.  I did the best I could with the knowledge I had and all I could do was hope that it was enough to guide my children in the right direction. 

My daughter being strong minded, free spirited and very opinionated from an early age, made it difficult for her in school.  When we moved to a new school district, I had hoped it would be a new start for her. 

I was excited when she made a friend the first day of school.  I wasn’t excited three weeks later when, I found out she smoked cigarettes and drank alcohol.  I knew there would come a day when I would have to face the inevitable but I didn’t want it to be this soon, not in 9th grade.  I also didn’t want tell my, oh so excited daughter, that she couldn’t hang out with her new best friend anymore because she smoked and drank.   I was afraid if I did that it would push her right down the wrong path.  I simply explained to her, what the consequences of drinking and smoking would be and that she knew right from wrong.  I told her that I really didn’t want her hanging out with someone like this but I was leaving it up to her to make the right decision. 

I knew she had to make this decision on her own and all I could do was have faith that she was the person, I raised her to be.

Two weeks later when she found out this girl wasn’t really who she thought she was she chose not to be her friend.  She made the right choice and I couldn’t have been more proud of her at the time. 

This was my daughter’s best friend the first two months of 9th grade.

I must have done something right.

…And All Of This, Just To Improve Highway Safety

But what they didn’t know was that… 

I never really thought of myself as an aggressive driver, except for a slightly heavy foot and the occasional, “what the fuck are you doing,” I pretty much follow the road rules.  Until, I took this self-assessment that was developed by traffic psychologist Leon James, Ph.D.

Mentally condemn other drivers.

Verbally denigrate other drivers to your passengers.

Close ranks to prevent someone from getting in your lane.

Give another driver the “stink eye” to show disapproval.

Speed past another car or rev the engine as a sign of protest.

Prevent another driver from passing because you’re mad.

Tailgate to pressure a driver to go faster or get out of the way.

Fantasize physical violence against another driver.

Honk or yell out of the window.

Make obscene gestures.

Use your car to retaliate with sudden, threatening maneuvers.

Chase another driver because of a provocation or insult.

Get out of the car and engage in a verbal dispute.

Carry a weapon in the car in case you need it for a driving incident.

Deliberately bump or ram another car.

Try to run another car off the road to punish the driver.

Get out of the car and beat or batter someone after a road exchange.

Try to run someone down who angered you.

Shoot at another car.

Kill someone.

My score:  8

1 to 3: The Unfriendly Zone, mental and verbal acts of unkindness.

4 to 7: The Hostile Zone, visibly communicating resentment with the desire to punish.

8 to 11: The Violent Zone, carrying out an act of hostility in fantasy or deed.

12 to 16: The Lesser Mayhem Zone, epic road rage contained within personal limits

17 to 20: The Major Mayhem Zone, uncontained epic road rage, the stuff of newspaper stories.

That’s right folks, I’m in The Violent Zone.  I fantasize about carrying out acts of hostility and, um… other deeds, on drivers who piss me the fuck off.  So watch out, I just might run you off the road. 

whodathunk…

It Was All Worth $142.00

Today, I had to attend traffic court, for a 15 year old ticket, because the federal legislation requires each state to check the National Drivers Registry prior to renewing a driver’s license.  The NDR gives the names of states where an individual has a license that has been withdrawn.  I was surprised, I couldn’t for the life of me, figure out why my NJ license had been revoked.  It had to be a mistake, right? 

So, I called the number that was on the letter, which was the New Jersey DMV.  They told me that I had gotten a ticket in Pa, the summer of 1993, and that it was for disregarding an electronic signal and that it was 142.00, which I needed to pay Pa not NJ.  Then, after, I settle the score with Pa, I would need to prove that to NJ and pay a 100.00 restoration fee to get back a license, I probably will never use again. 

I called PENNDOT with the summons number New Jersey had given me and that meant nothing to them.  Of course, why would anything in my life be simple?  I called NJ DMV again and this time a different customer service rep led me in the right direction.  It took a couple of days but after going through the archives the nice man in a different department found the original ticket.  He gave me the information, I needed to pay the ticket. 

I was on my way to the district court to pay the ticket and then I realized, if I pay this ticket, I’m admitting guilt, therefore, I will be given the adequate amount of points against my license that goes along with a moving violation, which could possibly effect my car insurance.  When I got to the court the lady in the office couldn’t give me an answer so she suggested, I pay the 7.00 for a hearing and the judge could decide.  It was worth it to me to pay the 7.00 not to have the points on my license.  I was still willing to pay the 142.00, because I really couldn’t dispute a ticket, I had no recollection of.   I thought maybe they might even dismiss the whole thing since it was so old and I was willing to go to court.  My husband said, “No I don’t think so, they’re doing this for the money.” 

I went to court this morning where, I sat in a room full of people where an officer would call each person into a small office to go over how the ticket would be handled.  When, I went in he said, going through the papers, “I don’t know….” 

“That’s because the ticket is 15 years old,”  I interrupted.  He looked at me funny and I proceeded to tell him the story and he said, “Don’t worry about it, I’ll dismiss it and you won’t have to pay anything.” 

Yay me, but of course, I had to be seen in front of the judge so she could make it legitimate. But I didn’t have to pay the ticket.  

It was worth it. 

All of this, just to improve highway saftety….