Life As I See It

Free as A Bird

It wasn’t until tonight that I realized how alone my friend really is.  I am really the only person who understands her and accepts her for who she is.  Estranged from her family.   They look at her with disgust, shame and embarrassment. 

A free spirit, who drifts in and out of people lives, from one place to another.  A bird souring through the sky, on an endless flight, with no where to go.  She lives day by day, minute by minute not knowing what’s going to happen next.  She looks at the world through the eyes of a child.  Always needing to be wanted and always wanting to be needed.  Fearless like a tornado ripping through a town.  Serene as the night sky on a summer’s night. 

I’m the only one who understands her, really.  I met her 14 years ago.  She just graduated High School and was finishing her cosmotology hours at a beauty school.  I was there getting my license for skin care and manicuring.  We hit it off, being so much alike and living close to one another we drove in together.  One thing led to another and we were hanging out all the time. 

Her parents liked me, regardless of our age difference.  They use to say that I was good for her.  Time went by and our friendship grew further and further apart.   She was always finding the wrong people to hang out with.  Always gettng herself into trouble.

I would get a call a couple of times a year and if things were really bad it would be longer.  I worried sometimes not hearing from her for so long.  Then out of the blue she would call.  I don’t think she means to not call, it just that she gets tangled up in her web and it’s difficult to get out of. 

It was two years of not hearing from her, when she called me one summer day.  She had just gotten out of jail, after being in there for three weeks for resisting arrest, because someone called the police when her and her boyfriend were having out in the middle of the street.  It was over between them and she moved in with a friend.  Josh was a recovering addict and a very bad place for my friend to be.  Six months later, Josh started to use heroin, not a good scene for her.  She did what ever she could for him.  She stuck by him for four months of trying to kick the habit.  Until she couldn’t do it anymore, still keeping in touch with me, she showed up on my door step.  There was nothing I could do but take her in.

She really doesn’t have any true friends. They use her, just as she will use them.  They don’t understand her, and why she does the things that she does.  I’ve been through a lot with her this past year.  I’m really the only true friend she has.  The only one who accepts her for who she is.  She conceals her inner most thoughts and very rarely reveals how she genuinely feels.  I can see past every shield she holds up.  I know every lie she tells and why she tells them.  nobody understands why I put up with this.  I’m not sure I even do.

 Our relationship  goes deeper then any that I’ve seen.  I’ll always be here for her.  We need each other in a way. She needs someone to look after her.  And I need someone to look after. And maybe the day will come when she doesn’t call for a while.  But she always does when it matters.  I love her and I know she loves me.  Friends forever..

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