Life As I See It

Counting Calories The Fun Way

 For those of you who are counting calories and trying to burn of the fat the you put in your mouth, here are some good tips for you to follow. 

 Giving ………head……. massages the jaw….while burning 32 calories.

Swallowing foreign body juices is actually like taking vitamins and it whitens your teeth

The American Dental Association says that semen cuts plaque better than mouth wash, so suck a dick and save a smile.

Having nice sex burnes 358 calories.

Having rough sex [ burns 543 calories.

Take off her clothes
with her consent…………………….12 cal
without………………….187 cal

Take off her Bra
With two hands……………………..8 cal
With one hand…………………….12 cal
With mouth………………………..85 cal

Put on Protection
hard ……………………… 6 cal
soft……………………..315 cal

Foreplay
Looking for target……………….8 cal
Finding G spot ………………….92 cal
I don’t Fucking care…………………0 cal

Entry
Holding her………………12 cal
On the floor……………..8 cal

With Different Position
Missionary……………………..358 cal
Doggy………………………316 cal
69 lying………………………….286 cal
69 standing………………………..512 cal
Italian hanger…………………….912 cal

Orgasm
Real…………………………..112 cal
Faking…………………………..315 cal

After Orgasm
Lying in Bed……………………….18 cal
Hop off the bed……………………….36 cal
Wondering why she left pissed off………..816 cal

Get dressed
Quiet and calm………………………32 cal
Rushing…………………….98 cal
Heard her boyfriend opening the door………….1218 cal
Heard her dad/ 1942 cal
mom walks in and wants to join… priceless

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2 responses

  1. Okay, you know I’m a prude. But I read this one to the very end. Super funny, and well, practical. Good to know how to keep my weight down during my months off from the rec. Keyser will wonder about my spiked interest, but be pleased none the less.

    August 10, 2007 at 10:19 pm

  2. It sounds like you have your hands full with keyser. Don’t show him the list, he’ll want to burn as many calories as possible.

    August 12, 2007 at 8:00 pm

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