Life As I See It

A State Of Confusion

I was asked if I get offended when no one leaves comments on my posts, quick to answer, no, and not having any time to explain myself.  It’s been on mind since.  

I didn’t start this blog to be a professional writer or to see how many hits I can get in one day or how many comments people leave.  I never even intended for people to see it.  I was told by a professional I should keep a journal, that it would help to clear the demons that cloud my mind on a daily basis.

See, my mind doesn’t work in the same manner as most others.  The thoughts form a barricade and become very overwhelming for me.  My words become confused and slow to develop.  They run through my head like a freight train and it’s hard for me to catch them.   My brain becomes paralyzed and my mental state shuts down, so to speak.  It’s hard for me to handle.  I then become silent.      

Most people don’t understand, some try to relate, but they don’t, not really.   I stand apart from other people.  I hide my feelings very well but if you know me, you can see it. There is nothing I can do but wait until it clears, hence, I started a blog….. 

Keeping a paper journal was difficult for me, the written words were far and few between.  A friend of mine and coworker at the time, introduce me to the world of blogging.  I was explaining to her my dilemma  when she told me that she uses her blog for the same reason.  Although it took me several weeks to set it up, I was grateful when I did.  I still have difficulty gathering my thoughts together and getting them out into words but it does help to clear the clouded space of confusion.  I didn’t give my address to anyone, but Sissy searched and somehow found it.  One thing led to another and my blog was shared with everyone. 

I’m glad my thoughts are out there for other people to see.  My friends and E-friends are welcomed with open arms at anytime and if there is no comments so be it, I have way more things to worry about. 

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3 responses

  1. I’m here!! Your thoughts are important to me. they make my house a better place.

    September 4, 2007 at 2:07 pm

  2. Thank You, at least someone listens to me. You’re just glad someone is more fucked up then you are. hahaha……I told you we would make a good team. Break out the vodka..

    September 4, 2007 at 7:40 pm

  3. ha ha! Vodka indeed. i often read your posts, i just dont often comment. But I will now. My blog too is more therapy than it is a ploy for fame (although we both know I long for fame quite badly)

    anyway i like to say what I think, and hopefully people comment their own experiences and often times that helps me get my head around my own issues. I dont know how many hits i get, and i reckon i dont care either, but I am glad that the people that come to visit are people i like and people that care about the “plight of the spanky”

    you know what i mean?

    September 5, 2007 at 6:54 am

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