Life As I See It

What the Fuck was I Thinking

“A perfect sister I am not, but thankful for the one I’ve got.”

It was going to be a nice peaceful dinner this year, the 17 people I usually have will now be 11.  Dinner is always at 4:00 and never being on time this is the exception for being prompt.  My bottle of wine was ready to drink, one for me and one Nikki, who was suppose to arrive at 3:00 with the rest of my guests.   

All my guests arrived on time except for Nikki and her husband.  This wasn’t a problem until, for some reason my food was ready a little early.  Thirty minutes to be exact.  So, I did what anyone would of done, I called to see where she was and when there wasn’t any answer I assumed that she would be here any minute.  I put the food on the table and without thinking, we started to eat. 

This is my problem, I always ASSUME things and I shouldn’t.  It seems to always get me into trouble.  We were finishing up and I realized that she wasn’t here yet, so I called her once again.  She was halfway here when she answered her phone.  When I told her we had started to eat without her because I thought she was almost here the first time I called, she was very upset with me and had every right to be.  I was wrong and I know I was wrong.  What was I thinking and why would I do that? 

Where is my fucking brain these past couple of weeks?  I’m so stressed out, I think I may need to quit my job sooner then I think if this shit keeps happening.  I can’t take it.     

I got drunk and cried all night and then realized that Nikki, Michele and I were suppose to call our friend Sharon, who has been living in Florida for the past three years in recovery, so we can all talk together.  I had to call her, so she didn’t think I broke my promise to her.  Thank God she didn’t answer but called me as soon as she heard the message.  I had to talk to her and then explained that I drank a little too much wine, she could tell.  She was OK with it though.

She did what she does best, listened to my problem and then gave me advice on what to do, even though I probably didn’t make much sense, but she understood. 

Nikki called me this morning and I asked her if she still hated me, she said yes, but we talked for a half hour.  I couldn’t apologize anymore but I’m going to.  I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.  I’m sure she will be hurt for sometime and I will have a lot of ass kissing, but I really thought our friendship wouldn’t be the same. 

She didn’t act this way last week when I rear-ended her car, she actually felt bad and thought I was mad at her because she stopped too fast.

I’m Sorry.


7 responses

  1. these things happen. sissy hurt my feelings on thanksgviing and i cried and then my crying aprently hurt her feelings and she cried. then it was all ok and we played pictionary. and got into another fight. she is the person I could be with forever. when we are old I want us to be roomies. that girl gets me ya know?? and anyway the real person to blame is your oven right? stupid fuckface Oven got the food all done early…what IS THAT ABOUT??

    November 24, 2007 at 8:26 pm

  2. I talk to her again today and she still hated me but we talked liked there wasn’t anything wrong. Gotta love sisters.

    And the fucking homemade wine made me dizzy and sick and then I woke up with a headache.

    November 24, 2007 at 10:39 pm

  3. *sigh*
    that is all.

    November 25, 2007 at 3:05 pm

  4. Cappy – I like the new look!

    November 26, 2007 at 11:55 am

  5. Thanks, I thought maybe if I had a change it would make me feel better, I think I’m going to paint my living room, too.

    November 26, 2007 at 2:35 pm

  6. Nicole

    Kris-you should know that I could never hate you for any amount of time. Maybe I over reacted, I was just so hurt, and I just never would have thought in a million years you guys would have done that, now any of my other sister/brother, yea I could totally see them doing it. Yes I was very hurt, but I scratched my ass and got glad again. Alway remember one thing and don’t forget it, if I ever get mad at you for whatever reason, even if it is eating without me, I could never, never, never hate you. Not only are you my big sister, but you are also my bestest friend in the whole wide world and nothing can ever come between that even eating without me. I love you more than a sister can love her sister and more than a friend can love a friend. You are always in my heart.

    November 26, 2007 at 4:53 pm

  7. This is weird. I swear I read this post. And then commented. But there’s no comment. So I read it again. And, for sure, I had already read it. Whatever. Maybe it was in a dream.

    I love your new place! It rocks. It’s so you.

    It’s true. I make Spank cry all the time. Since we were kids. But she’s been pissing me off her whole life, so I guess we call it even at the end of every day. She makes me mad. I make her cry. And then we make up. But, Spank, I don’t recall the second fight we had on Thanksgiving. What was that one about? Please, you don’t have to rehash the first fight. (It always comes to being an asshole when we fight. I know this because I’m always the one apologizing.)

    November 30, 2007 at 2:23 am

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s