Life As I See It

Decorating With Style or Not

As I was driving home from getting my haircut I was noticing all the Christmas lights and decorations that were around and I came to the conclusion that; not only do people not know how to shop for the perfect Christmas gift but they don’t know how to decorate the outside of their house either. 

xmas-lights-14.jpg xmas-lights-12.jpg xmas-lights-13.jpg I think blow up lawn ornaments are the most obnoxious and tacky decoration there is.  Who the fuck in their right mind would put something so rude on their front lawn.  Can you honestly tell me that this looks good?     xmas-lights-6.jpg  lights-21.jpg Come on folks, this is not National Lampoon’s Christmas.  You do not need something that looks like it’s going to take over the world.  Give me a fucking break.  xmas-lights-16.jpg What the fuck is this suppose to be.  That’s almost as bad as Santa on a Harley. 

lights-19.jpgNow this is what I call neighborly.  If your gonna use ugly lights you may as well get the whole block in on  it.  xmas-lights-10.jpg This is another thing that annoys the piss fuck out of me.  Don’t put lights in a tree unless your gonna decorate the whole thing.  Who does this to a tree?  Do people really think this looks good.  I just want to knock on their door and tell them that they are not finished decorating.   lights-30.jpg   

 xmas-lights-2.jpg  And what are we starting to do now put up palm trees?  Get with the program people this is a summer decoration. 

lights-23.jpg  Now this one I just don’t get.   I don’t think I would outline my front yard with lights unless it was an ice covered pond but you know, that’s just me.  I wouldn’t know where to begin to think where that got an idea like that.

xmas-lights-17.jpg I’m one for white lights but enough is enough, not every flippin house on the street needs to be lined in white lights.  We are not trying to contact mars.  Be original people…Put some color into you thought. 

xmas-lights-11.jpgWhat is this mess?  I can’t even comment on it because I don’t know what the fuck it is. 

lights32.jpgI’ll explain this one to you.  The lighted tree to the left is falling over.  I understand Mother Nature can’t help what she does but it hasn’t been windy in four days.  Get off your fucking lazy ass and fix your lawn ornaments.  It’s like sitting in a doctors office and the painting is crooked, drives me crazy, I have to fix it.  Now the bush in the background is a different story.  It has one strand of blue lights draped over it, I don’t know maybe the wind blew the rest away. lights-36.jpgThis is just as bad as fallen ornaments.  If there is a light out please fix it and if you can’t get to it right away, do us all a fucking favor and leave it unplugged. 

lights-40.jpgI did not alter this picture in any way and the color on your computer is not wrong.  This folks is a red, white and blue tree.  God Bless America but it is not July 4th, it’s December 9th.  Let’s not get our holidays mixed up.  Christmas is red and green, Easter is yellow and pink, Thanksgiving is brown, Halloween is black and orange.  Red, white and blue is the Forth of July….Do I have to tell them everything.

Now don’t get me wrong, I enjoy lights and decorations.  But for the most part I like things simple and done right.  If your going to go all out with the lights I suggest you take a trip to Brooklyn, I hear they have a festival of lights that are out of this world. 

Aaah, I feel much better now that I got that off my chest. 

5 responses

  1. Heather

    This is so funny: I made a comment not ten minutes ago on Spank’s blog about atrocious inflatable Santas, then came and read this.

    December 10, 2007 at 2:37 pm

  2. Hahhahahaha I was justhtinking the same thing as I read this….

    Well….I dont think anyone does honkey tonk trash ornaments like perry country does. I mean…really…we are so bad its amost good.

    which Is why i dont partake in the festivities. I make cookies and treats…and I really lost my umph at thanksgiving because of all the disaray…but i am back in the saddle my friends..and we will have 5 kindsa cookies…veggie pizza, some kinda meat and cheese tray, my famous fruit salad…..oh it is goign to be a glorious christmas…

    December 10, 2007 at 7:23 pm

  3. Yay for Spanky, now give me what you are taking because I need to have a glorious Christmas, too.

    Really, I’m glad your feeling good.

    December 10, 2007 at 8:38 pm

  4. Flouncing Floozy

    As I sit here at my desk at work, looking for all the world like I am a busy, productive professional woman doing a heluva job. I have coffee spewing out of my nose, tears running down my cheeks, and a cacaphony of odd honking snorting sounds being emitted from my mouth, kinda ruins the professional picture dont it? This is so true and oh so incredibly funny and the exact thoughts that have run through my brain at any given time while driving around during the holiday season.

    December 11, 2007 at 9:16 am

  5. Thanks Floozy, I also forgot to mention the pine garland, if you’re gonna swag it around your fenced yard please make sure it’s even all around. I can’t stand if things are uneven.

    And don’t forget the faded hard plastic decorations and I say faded because they are probably 4th generation decorations.

    December 11, 2007 at 8:47 pm

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