Another Year Older
- People who say you’re just as old as you feel are all wrong, fortunately.
- Russell Baker
Well, in less than a week I’ll be another year older. Does this bother me? Of course it fucking does. Age never bothered me until I turned 40 and then I thought I was hit by a septa bus. It’s not that I look bad, on the contrary, I was just carded for cigarettes the other day and when the man saw the grin on my face as he glanced at my license he said, “oh yeah, 86 your good.” Give me a fucking break, flattery will get you every where asshole but don’t be a fuckhead about it. I may act like I’m 21 but I doubt I look it.
It’s not because my head of hair is 70% grey or every time I go to the doctors with a complaint he tells me it’s because I’m getting older. It’s not because constipation has become common word usage for me or arthritis is moving in and taking up residence and I can tell when rain is coming by my aching joints. It’s not because I’m losing my hearing, my teeth or any other bodily function.
Every year comes depression with the thought of being another year older. “Oh, it’s only a number, it’s all about how you feel and act,” is what I get. Give me a fucking break you can act as young as you like, feel as young as you want, the fact remains every year is one year closer to death. It doesn’t matter how healthy you are, how much exercise you get, what kind of food you eat, when your time is up, your you time is fucking up. Get over it.
I’m afraid of death and not afraid to admit it. I’m not sure why or when this came about. It doesn’t stop me from being who I’m an adventurous, daring, judgemental bitch who doesn’t give a fuck what people think. I enjoy life to the fullest thinking that some day I might not be here and that scares me.
So, Happy Birthday to me. I’m another year older and another year wiser. Who gives a fuck? I do. At least I don’t have to shave the hair out of my ears yet.
P.S. I just thank the good lord that I still like sex. Once that goes there won’t be any waiting for death to come knocking because I’ll be breaking that door down.