Life As I See It


See, the thing about about life is, that death always follows.  You never know when it’s going to creep up on you.  One day you’re here and the next day you’re not.  That’s if you’re lucky.  Some people aren’t so lucky and suffer for months before the angel takes them.  The angel of death, that is. 

It doesn’t matter how old you are or what color you are or even what background you come from.  It doesn’t discriminate.  It’s not prejudice.  And it identifies with everyone.  This is the one thing that every living creature on this earth have in common.  It’s true.  

Now, the question is, if the angel of death decides tomorrow that it’s your turn to go, would everything prior to that day be exactly the way you wanted it to be.  Would you be content with the decisions you’ve made?  Or, would you say to yourself, “fuck, I wish I had more time because…”

Think about it.

Are there things you want to do? Things you want to say?  Places you want to go?  Are there dreams you want to pursue?  Is there something you want to reach for but just can’t find the courage to do so?

Are there old friends you want to get in touch with?  Does anything need resolving?

I was sitting on my back porch when my sister called me crying because her mother-in-law’s cancer had traveled from her spinal cord to her brain.  It was then that I realized this woman really did have cancer.  Her breast cancer was in remission for well over five years when, about two years ago, she found out it had come back only to settle in her bones.  She went through chemotherapy and radiation but it never really took it away.  

Last winter she had surgery on her hip to help with the pain she endured,  although, It didn’t stop her from driving to Florida in February.  She made sure she went to her camper as many weekends as possible, even if it meant driving there in severe pain.  Although, she was sick as a dog from radiation, she stayed out of the hospital as much as possible.   Maybe, that’s why I never thought of her as having cancer.

She is a fighter, she’s courageous and she never gives up.  Today, she still thinks she can beat this monster.  I would say that she lives everything. 

My prayers are with her. 

God bless her forever. 

Fucking cancer!


15 responses

  1. clickfornick

    I noticed also that you can’t monetize your blog. I read through your blog and decided that I’d like to invite you to syndicate it with us on BustaBlog, a new blog network. You will earn money from your posts by doing nothing more than you’re are doing now.

    For more information: Visit

    August 12, 2008 at 9:49 pm

  2. Cancer Sux – I’m having a t-shirt made and it’s going to have that slogan on it. God, I HATE CANCER. HATE IT.

    August 13, 2008 at 6:46 pm

  3. Nikki

    Thank you so much for those words, it so much to me as well as to Lynn. Thank you for not only being my big sister, but as a best friend as well and just letting me cry to you. I love you forever, just do me one favor from this day forward make sure you fucking cell phone is at arms reach. kiss, kiss, hug, hug…love you!!!

    August 14, 2008 at 7:38 am

  4. keyser soze

    One of my best friends (in my wedding, seen me naked etc) called me last september after I hadn’t talked to him for 4 or 5 weeks, I said what the fuck is up bro and he said nothin’ just dying from cancer, lung and bone. The chemo killed the lung but the bone not so much.

    This guy is a fighter though and knows that as with any thing in life attitude is everthing. He will be around annoying the fuck out of me for a while like he has for the last 16 years.

    I know that when his time comes tomorrow or twenty years from now it will be for a reason. My vison of gods a will as a human is very limited but I know that the reason for his demise will be revealed at some point, maybe two seconds before I die.

    It serves to remind me that I better live my life to the fullest, turn off the tv and take the kids for a walk. Call some one I care about etc.

    When you lived the way I used to live every day above ground is a victory but I still forget it because my universe revolves around me. The goal is to remmeber where I came from and give back because my life is full. The quality of the problmes in my life today is wonderful compared to some.


    August 14, 2008 at 2:39 pm

  5. You haven’t been around for a while, Keyser, but when you are, you’re full of wisdom. I’m lucky to have a friend like you.


    August 14, 2008 at 3:04 pm

  6. keyser soze

    Keyser is enjoying a 2 week girls at gymnastics camp vacation!

    August 14, 2008 at 5:06 pm

  7. Aah, all alone are ya? Sounds heaven.


    August 14, 2008 at 6:03 pm

  8. My oldest friend just died of ovarian cancer. Her last 3 months of dying showed me how I should live my life.
    I know now why I lost my job in November. It was so I’d have time to spend with her: taking her to chemo, visiting her in the hospital, visiting her in hospice, singing to her, praying with her, laughing with her.
    I got a bona fide saint keeping me in line!

    August 15, 2008 at 5:01 pm

  9. I went to visit my friend last night in the hospital. Her speech isn’t slurring anymore. Her hands are starting to move a little better, she can at least feed herself now and hold a bottle of water. She is still as funny as hell and continues to give the nurses a run for their money. Half the floor is dying off and she still has her spirits. She always tries first before letting anyone help her. Still stubborn as hell.

    She’s planning to redecorate their living room so she can watch the snow falling outside the window and the fire burning in the fire place. She getting hospice, but ya know, it’s not the kind we think it is. Physical therapy is the one that releases her and she thinks she thinks they won’t let her go home until she walks from one end of hall to the other. So she’ll work even harder to accomplish that. She’ll probably never walk again. She won’t admit that she’s dying.

    Her courage, her good will and her spirits will keep her alive. The cancer will kill her.

    August 16, 2008 at 9:21 am

  10. Joe

    awwww u made the time? lol id never have guessed!

    August 19, 2008 at 7:21 pm

  11. I’m nicest fucking person you’ll ever want to meet. Don’t ever cross me, though, I’ll always remember and I’ll never forget and I will get even. That’s when my subtleness takes over and you’ll never know what hit you.

    I’m a love/hate kind of a girl. You’ll either love me or hate me. That’s just the way it is.

    Most people love me. I can’t help it, I have the affect on people.

    August 19, 2008 at 8:04 pm

  12. Joe

    lol u sound more like a scorp than a capricorn! (which btw, is a compliment) Capri thou, is my next zodiac letter victim.. which is a shame.. if ud hit me wid ur niceness earlier, i mite not have had so much to say of them!

    August 20, 2008 at 12:39 pm

  13. Heather

    You know what, Cap? Even the haties grow to love you. Because you’re awesome. And also because you wear them down.

    August 20, 2008 at 12:46 pm

  14. I do wear them down at times.

    August 20, 2008 at 2:36 pm

  15. Joe

    death is the purest form of selfishness humanity can ever breed. we want others to live not just because we care for them, but for a more primal reason – death takes away the comfort and hope that we need from another to keep ourselves going. cancer or not, the ones who left, my first question to thems always been ‘why didja leave me?’. Not ‘why did u leave family, friends, dreams, aspirations’ but ‘me’. it’s all consuming, our selfishness. we fear death because we fear everything that we cant control. and deaths bang on top of that list. humanity’s depraved.

    ok, im shuttin up now.

    August 22, 2008 at 4:50 pm

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s