Life As I See It

Just Call Me Rona

It wasn’t until today that I realized, I love gossip.  I live for it.  I thrive on it.  I do.  It gets my blood pumping, my heart racing and I feel orgasmic.  It’s like an addiction, the more talk I hear and the more drama I have in my life the more elated I am.  It keeps me going through the day and helps me to relax at night. 

After waiting all week, my friend finally called me today, to give me the scoop on her quitting her job, ya know, the job I quit, in February.  The one I had so much trouble handling.  The one that gave me so much stress I needed a couple of hits just to walk through the door.  After talking to her for almost two hours and taking in all the summer gossip, I felt vibrant, like a clean crisp sheet taken off the clothes line on a chilly spring morning.  I felt like conquering the world. 

This isn’t a new found glory.  I was a tattletale growing up.  No, really, I was.  I can remember always running to someone and whispering, “This one did that or that one did this.”  I was labeled a tattletale and I remember it upsetting me, but I couldn’t help it.  It was in my blood and I wanted to know every ones business and there was nothing stopping me to finding out what I needed to know.  I’m older now and more mature, well, maybe not so mature but I am wise, so, I’m cautious about what I say and who I say it to. 

So lay it on me.  I’m waiting.   Make me feel the wind through my veins.  Come on, I dare you.

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15 responses

  1. Joe

    Donna gave birth in the last 300 seconds. who’s donna? ive no idea. but im sure there is a donna out there. and Wikipedia says 4 births happen every second. chances are one of them was a donna. does that count? you heard it here first!

    August 22, 2008 at 5:00 pm

  2. No, honey, I need the dirt. The shit that’s going down. The things you don’t tell anyone else but me. The bad things you say to your co workers about your obnoxious self centered new boss. Things that you pine over for days and the only way you feel better is to repeat yourself, over and over again until the person you’re talking to tells you to shut the fuck up. Until you annoy that person they think about not calling you back.

    That’s the kind of gossip I need.

    August 22, 2008 at 5:59 pm

  3. Joe

    oh crap, u jus made me realise what a shit job i have. nothing ever happens around there!

    August 22, 2008 at 6:24 pm

  4. Joe

    u want wind in ur veins? have u tried squeezing tight until the fart travels inwards instead? or u can always inject a syringe filled with air? (of course, thats the last wind u’ll ever feel, but hey, nothing ventured nothing gained!) at least ive given u options. my good deed for the day is done

    August 22, 2008 at 6:35 pm

  5. yes, yes and no.

    August 22, 2008 at 7:49 pm

  6. Joe

    darn, darn and double darn.

    August 22, 2008 at 8:12 pm

  7. sorry, sorry, and double sorry

    August 22, 2008 at 8:38 pm

  8. did you get the email I sent with my digits? I have no gossip. Sorry.

    August 22, 2008 at 9:21 pm

  9. yes, I did, thanks and I sent it on to michele. I don’t think she knows what she wants for music that’s why she hasn’t contacted you yet. I know she’s not the ava maria type but there’s got to be something that’s more contempary but yet wedding-ish and meaningful and beautiful for her. Hm…I’ll have to think on this one.

    August 22, 2008 at 9:39 pm

  10. Heather

    Uh, I got a 133 point word in Scrabble yesterday. How’s that? No? Well, it was news to me. And no, you don’t want none of that. I am Scrabbletastic. Scrabblerifficalicious. I was like, “S’up, Scrabble, you want to go?” And it was all, “Halp! I’m a scareded little bitch.” And I was like, “That’s what I thought.” It’s like it WANTED to be humiliated. My guy consoled it, though, so that was nice. I only wanted to teach it teh respect, not scar it for life.

    “Sorry, Scrabble! Hope your therapy goes alright! Don’t forget to bow when you see me.”

    August 23, 2008 at 12:33 pm

  11. Heather

    It was like this, really. And when it was begging for mercy? I spit in its face. Because I could.

    August 23, 2008 at 12:56 pm

  12. that was some awesome scrabble beating, Heather!

    August 24, 2008 at 4:02 pm

  13. Heather

    Thanks, Peg! I have to say that since that triumphant moment, I’ve been losing like it’s going out of style. “Scrabble Karma: It’s a Bitch.” Hee hee. Sure, I COULD learn humility, but where’s the fun in that? Oh, yeah – there isn’t any. And so I say, “Screw ye, Milton Bradley! I’ll pull Candyland’s heart out of its chest and show it to you still beating! Punk-ass.”

    Maybe I should take up needlepoint.

    August 25, 2008 at 1:36 pm

  14. scrabble’s anonymous for you girl

    August 25, 2008 at 3:38 pm

  15. Heather

    No, no. I know its name. But it likes when I call it “Rita.” Scrabble’s a little kinky. Who knew?

    August 28, 2008 at 4:31 pm

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