How are you? Not Really!
I drove through the bank this morning at 8:45 and the lady at the window said, “Good morning, how are you?”This question is used quite frequently to be polite to strangers but in reality she could give two shits how I really feel.
Really, because what would she have done if I said, “Well, I feel like a horses ass. It started yesterday when I had a crick in my neck and for the love of God I couldn’t figure what I had done to it. I woke up soaked from head to toe and I didn’t know if it was from the uncontrollable dreams that kept me tossing and turning all night or from the socks I forgot to take off before I fell asleep. Because, ya know, I can’t sleep with socks and that’s probably why the dreams were so disturbing. Then, I figured out the stiff neck was the start of a sore throat so maybe the sweats came from that. But…30 minutes later my back started filling with pain and crept around to my abdomen where I found myself doubled over, thinking I was about to give childbirth. Six Advil later and the pain are still there. And for all I know my hormones could have been doing back flips on a trampoline all night causing night sweats. What do you think?”
what’s up with these fucking Americans? Do they always take questions literally or is it my unlucky day. Am I on candid camera? What did I do to deserve this? Next time, I’ll keep my big mouth shut or maybe I’ll just stick with, good morning and leave the, how are you, to the ones I really care about.
Next time some one asks you this question, you’ll have to stop and think, is she really genuine or is she just being polite. And then you’ll know how to answer.