Life As I See It

How are you? Not Really!

I drove through the bank this morning at 8:45 and the lady at the window said, “Good morning, how are you?”This question is used quite frequently to be polite to strangers but in reality she could give two shits how I really feel. 

Really, because what would she have done if I said, “Well, I feel like a horses ass.  It started yesterday when I had a crick in my neck and for the love of God I couldn’t figure what I had done to it.  I woke up soaked from head to toe and I didn’t know if it was from the uncontrollable dreams that kept me tossing and turning all night or from the socks I forgot to take off before I fell asleep.  Because, ya know, I can’t sleep with socks and that’s probably why the dreams were so disturbing.  Then, I figured out the stiff neck was the start of a sore throat so maybe the sweats came from that.  But…30 minutes later my back started filling with pain and crept around to my abdomen where I found myself doubled over, thinking I was about to give childbirth.  Six Advil later and the pain are still there.  And for all I know my hormones could have been doing back flips on a trampoline all night causing night sweats.   What do you think?”

what’s up with these fucking Americans?  Do they always take questions literally or is it my unlucky day.  Am I on candid camera?  What did I do to deserve this?  Next time, I’ll keep my big mouth shut or maybe I’ll just stick with, good morning and leave the, how are you, to the ones I really care about. 

Next time some one asks you this question, you’ll have to stop and think, is she really genuine or is she just being polite.  And then you’ll know how to answer.


7 responses

  1. When people ask me how I am I tell them one of two things depending on what they look like.

    “Better than most”

    “Wanna find out “?

    October 14, 2008 at 1:35 pm

  2. Everyone hold on to your seats, Mick, has stopped in and actually left a comment. Well, those are really good answers as long as you’re sincere. I would like you to elaborate on the second comment, though. “Wanna find out?” What would you do if the other person said, “sure.”

    October 14, 2008 at 1:58 pm

  3. Heather

    Mickaye! What’d you take your post down fer? It was so brave! Whatever. I’m glad I got to read it.

    Anyway, I was going to say, A real friend says, “How THE HELL are you?” Or “Fuck you, too, don’t ever fucking worry me like that again, fucker.” See?

    October 14, 2008 at 3:13 pm

  4. Heather

    Depends on the friend. 🙂

    October 14, 2008 at 3:26 pm

  5. Amen to that! Sistah!

    October 14, 2008 at 3:45 pm

  6. Sorry bout takin that post down.
    There are people who rely on me that would need more explanation than that to understand.
    It was all a serious mistake, I wasnt lookin to get hi and some might see as it as a justification for going on a run.

    Never thought it could feel so good to be told to go get fucked.

    I fuckin kick em in the head while they’re standing.
    Its not like in the movies, its even cooler

    October 14, 2008 at 9:35 pm

  7. I never ask my customers how they are…for THAT reason. I don’t give a shit. 🙂

    October 15, 2008 at 4:57 pm

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