Life As I See It

The 12 Pains Of Christmas

The first thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me
Is finding a Christmas tree   Stop complaining and Go buy one it’s easier.

The second thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me:
Rigging up the lights   Why put up lights when you’re just going to take them down in 3 weeks anyway.
And finding a Christmas tree

The third thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me
Hangovers  Amatures. 
Rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree

The fourth thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me

Sending Christmas cards  At least you have friends.

Hangovers
Rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree

The fifth thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me
Five months of bills!  Don’t talk to me about money problems. 
Sending Christmas cards
Hangovers
Rigging up the lights
And finding a Christmas tree

The sixth thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me:
Facing my in-laws  You’re lucky if Christmas is the only day you have to worry about facing your in laws. 
Five months of bills!
Oh, I hate those Christmas cards!
Hangovers
Rigging up these lights!
And finding a Christmas tree

The seventh thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me:
The Salvation Army  Shut the fuck up, your donation helps pay for my kids Christmas.
Facing my in-laws
Five months of bills!
Sending Christmas cards
Oh, geez!
I’m tryin’ to rig up these lights!
And finding a Christmas tree

The eighth thing at Christmas that such a pain to me:
I WANNA TRANSFORMER FOR CHRISTMAS!!!!  That kid doesn’t deserve shit for Christmas.
Charities,
And whataya mean “YOUR in-laws”?!?
Five months of bills!
Ach, making out these cards
Honey, get me a beer, huh?
What, we have no extension cords?!?
And finding a Christmas tree

The ninth thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me
Finding parking spaces  Don’t be so fucking lazy.  Park the car and walk.
DADDY, I WANT SOME CANDY!!!!
Donations!
Facing my in-laws Five months of bills!
Writing out those Christmas cards
Hangovers!
Now why the hell are they blinking?!?!?
And finding a Christmas tree

The tenth thing at Christmas that’s such a pain to me:
“Batteries Not Included”  You can afford something with batteries?
No parking spaces
BUY ME SOMETHIN’!!!
Get a job, ya bum!
Facing my in-laws!
Five months of bills!
Yo-ho, sending Christmas cards
Oh, geez, look at this!
One light goes out, they ALL go out!!!
And finding a Christmas tree

The eleventh thing of Christmas that’s such a pain to me:
Stale TV specials  It’s called DVR get with the program. 
“Batteries Not Included”
No parking spaces
DAD, I GOTTA GO TA BATHROOM!!
Charities!
She’s a witch…I hate her!
Five months of bills!
Oh, I don’t even KNOW half these people!
Oh, who’s got the toilet paper, huh?
Get a flashlight…I blew a fuse!!
And finding a Christmas tree

The twelfth thing of Christmas that’s such a pain to me:
Singing Christmas carols  No one forces you to open your mouth, so shut it.
Stale TV specials
“Batteries Not Included”
No parking?!?
WAAAAAAAAAAH! WAAAAAAAAAAH!
Charities!
Gotta make ’em dinner!
Five months of bills!
I’m not sendin’ them this year, that’s it!
Shut up, you!
FINE! YOU’RE SO SMART, YOU RIG UP THE LIGHTS!!!
And finding a Christmas tree

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3 responses

  1. Pingback: Don’t Make the Top 30 SEO Mistake |Bruce Valentia's Success "Secrets"

  2. 🙂 \m/

    December 8, 2009 at 3:35 am

  3. Win!

    December 10, 2009 at 4:37 pm

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