Life As I See It


There are some tasks in my life that I need to mentally prepare for, which, as of late has been taking long road trips. This has been no secret since every time I step into my car the hair on my delicate body stands on its end and I feel the need to scream it to anyone in my path.  It’s just that people don’t understand the basic rules of driving anymore and it frustrates the piss out of me.

When you see big red flashing letters on an electronic sign saying “hang it up now” when entering a new state tells me, that the law just may very well be no cell phone use while driving. Now while most people in Jersey obey this law some don’t and those select few are the ones that will crash into you and cause major havoc on ones vehicle, hence, delaying your ETA of your destination by a very long time.   Hence, I would then feel the need to hit someone. 

I left my house early Saturday morning heading for the Jersey shore.  As I approached Rt 55, the big black and white sign was still there staring everyone in the face clear as day,  keep right pass left.  I set my cruise control to 67 mph and stayed in the left lane as I passed every vehicle on the right wondering why they were going so slow.

It wasn’t until a truck flew up behind me when I had to slow down and move over that I realized for the past 20 minutes I was doing 77 mph and not 67. 

I wonder if I could have pulled that off.

“Officer I swear I thought I was doing 67.  It’s an honest mistake…hold on let me step out of the car for a minute.”


6 responses

  1. Antonio

    Eu tinha que ser baixo nas luzes brilhantes para uma reunião particular um tempo atrás, e nós tínhamos sido avisados para não se atrasar ou o portão será fechado.

    Eu estava atrasado.

    Encarar a cidade na pista de alta velocidade, alguns filho da puta atravessou duas pistas e me cortou como fundiu a partir de uma rampa. Eu estava chateado. Eu persegui-lo com a intenção de lançar-lhe o pássaro, quando o covarde fez uma súbita guinada de uma rampa, e desapareceu. Olhei para a direita, e virou-lo fora de qualquer maneira. Então olhei para frente. Havia um preto e branco, apenas descansar junto a direita na frente de mim.

    Eu tive que mudar de faixa para a esquerda, e apenas coasted por ele como ele virou para suas luzes a piscar. Eu era tido.

    Ele disse que tinha parado de me porque percebi que saiu do nada em uma alta taxa de velocidade. companheiro Nice. Eu disse, “Eu sei de tudo isso, e eu não vou discutir com você, mas que filho da puta lá me cortou em uma mala direta, e eu era apenas mais furiosa do que o inferno, e estava tentando obter o seu número de licença quando ele evadiu detenção de um cidadão e fugiu para a cidade. ”

    Ele apenas alertou-me para ser um pouco mais cuidadoso, e me pediu educadamente para ir mais devagar.

    Essa foi uma primeira vez para Antonio. O Conselho de Anciãos no navio mãe tinha previsto um gerador de campo maravilhosa força que molda a mente de curto alcance controlar esplendor. É pacifica seu antagonista, e torna-los em pessoas muito amigáveis. Eu gostaria de cou

    I had to be down in the bright lights for a particular meeting a while back, and we’d been warned not to be late or the gate would be locked.

    I was running late.

    Approaching the city in the high speed lane, some son-of-a-bitch crossed two lanes and cut me off as he merged from an on ramp. I was pissed. I chased him down with the intention of flipping him the bird, when the coward made a sudden swerve up an off ramp, and disappeared. I glanced right, and flipped him off anyhow. Then I looked ahead. There was a black and white, just lazing along right in front of me.

    I had to change lanes to the left, and just coasted by him as he turned on his flashing lights. I was had.

    He said he’d stopped me because he noticed I came out of nowhere at a high rate of speed. Nice fellow. I said, “I know all that, and I’m not going to argue with you, but that son-of-a-bitch back there cut me off in a merge, and I was just madder than hell, and was trying to get his license number when he evaded a citizen’s arrest and escaped into town.”

    He just cautioned me to be a little more careful, and asked me politely to go slower.

    That was a first for Antonio.

    The Council of Elders on the mother ship had provided a wonderful force field generator which casts a short range mind controlling radiance. It pacifies your antagonist, and renders them into very amicable folks. I wish I could share it with you.

    August 10, 2010 at 3:24 am

  2. I’m already amicable.

    August 10, 2010 at 2:09 pm

  3. Antonio

    Mas o adversário não é muito provável e, portanto, você está vulnerável. Com o brilho do gerador, a força está sempre com você.


    But your adversary very likely is not, and hence you are vulnerable. With the generator’s radiance, the force is always with you.

    August 10, 2010 at 4:09 pm

  4. Everyone has a dark side mine just shows a little more than others. or should I say I don’t really care if it shows.

    Mick, say something you fuck…

    August 11, 2010 at 9:06 pm

  5. Hawaii has the worst fucking drivers (and pedestrians) on the planet. Half the assholes here dont know how to drive a freeway probably because the freeways are all no more than 15 miles long and our destinations are much more compacted.
    But if these assholes knew the basic rules and didnt stay in the far right lane for the whole duration of their trip or go 40 in the far left lane we wouldnt have these clusterfucked bumbper rallies every rush hour.
    Another thing here that drives me outta my fucking mind is “The Aloha Spirit”
    I have nothing against courteous driving. But when you stop a line of traffic thats been waiting 5 minutes for the green left arrow and decide to let some schumck in coming out of a driveway you just fucked everything up for about ten people behind you. All who will not make that light and have to wait another 5 fucking minutes so you could feel good about yourself by letting one guy in.
    After weve all turned left the street will be clear for those waiting in driveways and it will be their turn to occupy the waiting line.
    In order to let one guy in it requires everyone behind you whos already up to at least 25 MPH to have to stop their progress, wait for the schmuck to cut in line, and the take off again intermitently as cars always do in groups taking off from a standing line
    Because of our drivers and my potential to smack them, these days I try to cruise and be as in little a hurry as possible for the sake of my sanity.
    I stopped flipping people off on the road after the last one pointed a .44 at me.
    But I did get out of the car to usher along the punk who thought walking thru the crosswalk as slow possible was funny. You could hear the drivers behind me cheering

    August 12, 2010 at 2:01 pm

  6. That’s better.

    August 13, 2010 at 7:03 am

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