Life As I See It

It’s So Good, I Just Had To Post It

One of the obstacles of having Attention Deficit Disorder is impulse control.  My impulsiveness usually comes through the large opening on my face.  It’s large because I’m always sticking my foot in it. 

My great adventure with my best friend and partner in crime at six flags hurricane harbor Water Park was amazing. We couldn’t have asked for the most perfect day of nothing but blue skies and a day full of laughter. I did learn one thing, Michele, is not only a partner but she is the instigator and as I follow suit it’s always my mouth that gets me into trouble.

We got there early enough to set up shop in a quiet corner of our own with just enough room to rotate our chairs with the sun. As all the chairs around the wave pool were lined up close to each other made it impossible to do just that.  Once we nestled in our cove and had a bite to eat we were off to relax in the lazy river. 

As we were floating around the river, lying across the double sided raft we came up to a life guard with a sign posted next to his stand. It read “Sha_ lo_  Water”

Michele noticed the missing letters and of course had to make it aware to the life guard that there were letters missing. The guard looked at the sign and turned to us and jokingly said, “Isn’t that the way you spell it?”

I of course, quickly looked to see if there was anyone around (I swear) before I blurted out, “I guess they had to spell it that way for all the foreigners here that don’t understand English.” 

 He turned to us and, and yes, shouted something in a different language.  Oops, there goes the foot in the mouth agian.  I thought Michele was going to die laughing. 

And not 30 feet around the corner I had to jump off my float to save a drowning mother because her son thought it was a good idea to jump off without warning her and flipped the float over. She went under and couldn’t catch her breath. That happened in front of the next life guard who sat there and watched the whole thing without even a flinch.  What did I say about foreigners? 

As the day went on, back at our cove, a group of people came and sat in front of us. The one girl was trying to arrange her chair around the two we weren’t occupying at the time. Michele said to her several times, “You can move the chairs if you want it won’t be a problem.” The girl looked at her with a blank stare, you know the one that says I don’t understand, and then just sat down in her chair. Michele asked me to move the chairs for the girl but I told her I was getting up and that it wasn’t my fault she didn’t understand what you were saying.

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8 responses

  1. Micheles and idiot for having to ask.
    You’re an idiot because you never know whos a foreigner these days.
    An the lifeguards an idiot if he wasnt getting his dick sucked by both of you by the time that bitch was drowning.
    Dont feel too bad.
    Were surrounded by water for 3000 miles in every direction, have the best waterfalls and beachs in the world the only theme/recreational they built here is a fucking water park.
    No roller coasters, a shitty zoo, no 4 wheeling zones, one cheesy ice skating rink, a stadium thats rusting to ruins, no pro football team, no pro baseball team, no ferries, no trains…

    but hey, we got a water park that costs a 100 bucks a day to go to.
    Per person

    August 31, 2010 at 6:41 pm

  2. Antonio

    O parque aquático que as taxas de cem dólares por dia por pessoa ainda está no negócio em sua bela ilha, Sr. Mick. Isso parece sugerir havaianos são os idiotas. Eu não seria tão rápida a chamada Michelle e idiotas Cappie. A menos que você só quer companhia. Você está sozinha, Sr Mick?

    Quanto ao que o salva-vidas não estava fazendo enquanto Cappie estava salvando a mãe, apenas uma amostra do outro esgoto séptico que vomita do seu buraco de pizza. E você tem a coragem de me dizer que eu sou assustador? Você é a fluência, Sr Mick. Está uma habitação, pervertido fundo, imbecil chupando espuma com uma boca grande.

    ————

    The water park that charges a hundred dollars a day per person is still in business on your beautiful island, Sr. Mick. That would seem to suggest Hawaiians are the idiots. I wouldn’t be so quick to call Michelle and Cappie idiots. Unless you just want company. Are you lonely, Sr Mick?

    As for what the lifeguard wasn’t doing while Cappie was saving the mother, just another sample of the septic bilge that spews from your pie hole. And you have the nerve to tell me I’m creepy? You’re the creep, Sr Mick. You are a perverted, bottom dwelling, scum sucking asshole with a big mouth.

    September 1, 2010 at 3:07 am

  3. Our water park is falling apart and only because up until a few months ago they charged more than anyone in this fcked up economy can afford. Its all relevant in the scope of todays economic climate as supply will certainly determine demand. Being so close to the ocean for the majority of fiscaly conscious families drove the logic to not invest capitol into what was already a gift of nature, comparably free.
    These are my local issues that you know not a fcking thing about.
    They are not doing well to the point where on a weekly basis offers and packages are advertised showing incrementle reductions in costs to revenues loss.

    Cappy knows me better than you asshole.
    Sooooooooooo…your bullshit machismo and faux chivalry arent gonna stick to anything around here except the tip of your toes.
    We exchange graphic insults with affection. And I dont have to say everything is some other fucking language like some fucking lifeguard at a water park.

    Get a better shtick you moron

    September 1, 2010 at 6:13 pm

  4. “Mick. That would seem to suggest Hawaiians are the idiots”

    Actually we hold the most diverse evenly balanced amount of cultural demographs than in any of the other 49 states. Only 7-10 % of our population is actually Hawaiian.
    And anyone of them would of shit down your neck(probably literally)if they heard you say that.

    September 1, 2010 at 6:18 pm

  5. There use to be a time when we couldn’t go through a thread without the graphic insults far worse than what you see here. Sometimes they would go on for hours. We were referred to as a Dan Brown novel. Actually our friendship started with a two week argument with several other people. It’s in one of my threads. We now have a love hate relationship. He loves me and I hate him.

    September 3, 2010 at 6:51 am

  6. You only hate me cuz I’m married

    September 5, 2010 at 1:43 pm

  7. You only love me because I’m the best person in the world.

    September 5, 2010 at 7:47 pm

  8. World Of Warcraft !

    September 6, 2010 at 3:11 pm

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