The Royal Wedding
I didn’t purposely watch the wedding, and I sure as hell didn’t get up at 4 am like the of the rest of fucktards with nothing better to do with their lives than to see something that really wasn’t all that exciting. The only reason I had it on was because I can’t function in the morning without seeing Matt, Meredith, Al, and Ann with a piping hot cup of coffee and my Mac resting delicately on my lap. It just so happened that The Today Show was covering the Royal Wedding and that is watch.
After all the hype about “The Dress” I was expecting something ravishing and alluring but the minute I turned on the TV my mouth dropped and all that ran through my head was is that, “The Dress”. Her hair hung as if she slept in those pink sponge curlers that keep your hair wet all night so when you take them out the curls hang in despair. Her veil was matted to her head like it just came out of the dryer with enough static to keep a Christmas tree lit for weeks.
So as you can see I was forced to watch something that really didn’t matter to me at all. Although I have to admit it was a pleasure to see The Queen dressed in a canary yellow dress with a matching hat. No one really had to worry about the sun being out because it was sitting in the first seat.