Life As I See It

And Then There Were Three

My best friend and  sister is nine years younger than me.  Who would have thought that when she was graduating high school and I was having my second child that we would end as close as we are now.

When Nikki was 16, she and her friend Lisa would go down the shore and stay with Lisa’s Aunt, who had a Bed and Breakfast where they would work. I thought I was cool when I would pop over to hang out with her for a few hours.  My in-laws lived just two blocks from where Nikki was staying, so it was easy for me to check in on her.  You know, looking out for my baby sister.

I’m not sure when and how we started becoming close, because with nine years between us, we never had anything in common.  Nikki was dating Keith, her husband now, in her last year of High School.  They had a baby two years later.  Maybe that’s when we started hanging out.

Nikki grew up with our cousin Michele, who is the same age as her.  So when Nikki would come to my house to visit, Michele would tag along and hang out too, and with  Michele would come Sharon, no relation, but a very good friend to Michele.  One thing led to another and before I knew it, the four of us were best friends.  We could count on each other for everything.  When the chips were down, the others would pick them up.  Not too often do people have someone they can count on for everything.

Five years ago one of us became ill.  It wasn’t something that she could just go to the doctors for and get better.  She chose this way of life, and then when it was too late, this ailment was controlling it. There was no turning back and there were no chips for us to pick up.  The deeper she got into this, the greater distance our friendship grew.  I think deep in her heart she didn’t want to alienate us, but when your fixation is smothering every ounce of your inner being, it’s hard to relate, to even your closest friends.  Our friend went away for a while to rid all the demons inside her.  It’s been two years since she has been gone and all is well.  The first two times she came home to visit, she canceled her plans to see us.  Our hearts were in distress.  But for what ever reason she had, I can’t hold her accountable.  Someday she will be able to take that last step and see us for who we really are,  the friends she left behind not the fiend that took her from us.

Friendship is certainly the finest balm for the pangs of disappointed love.


8 responses

  1. Michele

    Okay, I know this is your way of stating the facts and releiving your brain of any stress it has accumulated over time but Kris, come on now! It’s been a while, a long time, I am not even sure how long it has been but do you think she still sits and ponders what we think, what we do, how we are, how we used to be sooo close, best of the bestest friends and all that shit. It’s time to say we are no longer friends and move on as I am sure she has…God Bless her soul, I am sure she has new friends that have taken our places. It’s time to say GOOD-BYE Shar, hope all is well and you have overcome all your demons; goodluck. Do you agree?

    April 21, 2007 at 8:41 pm

  2. capricorn1966

    i’m not saying that i sit and ponder over our friendship. and of course things aren’t going to be the same as they use to be. we’re not going to talk on the phone or hang out like we use to. and buy xmas presents. but if she wants to see me then what’s wrong with that.

    April 21, 2007 at 9:12 pm

  3. Michele

    Honestly Kris, what are you going to talk with her about, all we have is what the past used to be like, what happened in the past…past, past, past…we dont know how she is doing in the present and she doesnt know how we are doing in the present. What we know of her now is that she is on her way to a clean and sober way of life, well we know that cause thats why she went away,(common sense) not because she calls and tells us how she is doing. When she writes, it’s I’m fine, great, terrific. Why even bother then? Unless you want to hear about how she is doing(which I am sure you already know). She calls, excuse me, she writes when it is convenient for her. What, she has a good day and decides to write you, but does she really miss the old times, does she really care anymore about what happens to us?!? She wrote you and told you she would be coming for a visit in April, has she called/has she written to tell you when and where?

    April 21, 2007 at 9:22 pm

  4. capricorn1966

    I don’t call her. I don’t write to her. and she doesn’t either. All I do is send her pictures of Lexi and she responds how beautiful she is. That’s as far as it gets. the last picture I sent, she commented back to say she would be in town in April and that she would like to get together. My repsonse was only if it was just us. None of her other friends that she hung out with. She agreed to that. She has been in touch the last week to see if we were still on and where we were meeting. She could still cancel, who knows. She is the one who initated it, so I’m not going to tell her no. It’s kind of the same situation with Danielle. She chose not to be my friend. Do I wash my hands with her. NO, we don’t talk like we use, we don’t hang out like we use, Do you think if I ran into Danielle that she would avoid me. I wouldn’t avoid her. I’m not going to think that everything is going to be the same, cause it’s not. it never will be. If you feel that way, it’s ok. I’m not putting you down or anything if that’s what you think.

    April 22, 2007 at 1:57 pm

  5. Michele

    Okay, Okay…I wasn’t trying to tell you not to see her or persuade you not to! The thing between you and Danielle is between you and Danielle, I do not talk to her about it and I don’t talk to you about. I wasn’t there, I was’t involved and because I love you both, I removed my self from the whole thing and I dont bring it up to either of you. By the way, you didn’t say anything to put me down.

    April 22, 2007 at 9:24 pm

  6. Sloopy

    we’ll just have to agree to disagree on the sharon thing. i got the lease on my upstairs computer. what do you want me to do with it.

    April 23, 2007 at 7:18 am

  7. SunShine

    Thanks for saying such sweet things about me. I still think you guys are crazy…

    April 24, 2007 at 5:06 pm

  8. Who the eff is Sloopy? Yo! That was my nickle-name for you-know-who. Is Gerri Kay in here? If not, I now realize we need to get her in here. Email me her email. I will start a fire. And it will burn long and hard!

    July 9, 2007 at 8:29 pm

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